This Break up thing ...
A take away from my or should be from any break up !!
This break up thing become more than just a word for me ever since I broke up with my girlfriend (I still love her but not like as it was before, more of like universal love ) and I went through exactly same process that we can expect from any first time heartbroken lad. It felt like I am at the center of universe broken with the feeling of worthlessness as if I have no more reason to live , sometimes wailing alone asking myself how on earth this can happen to me(Oh!! how stupid I wasJ), how on earth she can do this to me... I tried Google; you tube everything that possibly can help me get over from this dirty hang over. I even wrote a poem which you can read on http://anchukda.blogspot.com/2009/10/blog-post.html(Titled Disposal Glass)....So In the quest I land up in many blogs giving firsthand experience of their pains. I really didn’t follow those blogs nor did I note their names or countries they belong to... but those were the common people thousands of them out of millions who could pen their feelings in web, who went through same experience and some far more painful than mine.
Which help you get your coordinate in this universe,
Which help you feel 'comon u r not the only one' ,
Which help you know this is/was a usual old shit whether you use it as an asset and take some good out of it or u let it suck your life.
For many reasons I was not able to pen this all down in my blog ...feeling why should I expose my private life and perhaps due to my inferiority bullshit (complex) but as the time passed I could able to see it from a new perspective, that this break up thing is more of a phenomenon, more of a social tragedy than personal crisis, more of an asset than a failure ... Which give you no other option then learn and grow with this... Sometimes we need such jerk that helps you get clear of the priorities in your life... Which make you shift in your life statements from ' My girlfriend is my life ' to ‘Girl friend is a liability and wife is an asset’
When you lay down with the feeling of worthlessness, worrying and furious... I say you deserve it. Because it is only you who could have save it from happening. And since it has already happened instead of worrying I say you can figure it out why he/she left/betrayed you instead of worrying, it would be more of constructive than brooding and wasting your time over it... And try to fill every single aspect of your life with those shortcomings in you , of you... I find it life giving!!!
Some Advantages of being single:
Before I brag few of my points in advantages of being single I would like to recall an instance of a story which most of us already know very clearly. We know that instance so clearly from our early childhood that we have taken it for granted!! It’s an instance of story of young prince Siddhartha who left behind his wife, kids and his whole kingdom for the truth he was seeking. Had it been not so important to stay and stray single for seeking the eternal truth of life Siddhartha would have never left his beautiful wife, kid and luxuries kingdom. Now before anybody jump to any conclusion I would like to clear that of course nobody wants to get enlightenment but we all do have many aspirations big and small which because of being in a relationship we can’t take that plunge. Our family has always been one reason for such dilemma but that’s inevitable.
It may sound absurd to many but I have breathed those entanglements in my brother’s (married with kids) voice while saying “Singles are gay (happy), they can go anywhere!” the statement was not as heavy as it was in the Martin Luther's speech but I could sense what he was trying to say. I know, to many it still doesn’t make any sense …to them I can only say wait till you get married with two kids. It sounds pessimistic I know but it’s the bitter truth we all have to accept sooner or later. So If you are single feel glad about it and make the most f it .
When you are single you really are free ... Free bole to full to free!!! As I am penning this down in bodhgaya the temple where buddha got enlightenment. Where he actually got free from all his entanglements. Ofcourse not as free likewise :) but at least you are actually free from all those useless arguments over nothing, of all those constant reportings of where you are , with whom you are , when are you coming back, had dinner? Sorry I am short with these questions perhaps I m already over with this break up or even relationship hang over ... I don’t have to elaborate you guys know what I am talking about.
When you are single you can take out quality time for your loved ones (those who actually loved you always without any expectation) for your friends , for your family, for the world that was not in your perspective before when you were in the relationship cocoon and most importantly for yourself. Life is too short to argue over those small things, life is too precious to spend time with the person who hardly understands you... when/if you can reach to the world ... With the current technology boon... I feel now world is a stage.. Perform for your own sake.. Express it, live the world you always aspire to because you are free and have a new reason for it.
God knows if this make sense to anyone but to me it’s a wisdom that I couldn’t learn from my four years of engineering/education life.
--When Steve was fired from apple after a decade of his hard work to make an impression of apple to the world, remember for Steve it was his first love more than his girlfriend and kids ... Of course he was devastated for sometime like any of us but as he said later '' getting fired from apple was the biggest thing that could ever happen to me because it led him build two new big firms ' Pixar' and ' Next'.
He learned failure is an asset which show up without prejudice 'what lacks in us' if we can contemplate ... saving god knows how many time of ours if we try to figure that out by meditating over it.. So if you broke up recently and feeling worthless ... I say you actually are worthless until you don’t put your things in order. Until you don’t prioritize your priorities in your life.
There are two aspects about any break up ...if you broke up recently with your loved one, first either you are wrong or He/She is wrong. So if you are wrong that means there's something that lacks in you or about you and the only constructive thing about it is to find what lacks in you and do something about it.I mean to say grow with it. And if He/She is wrong or cunning thank God that He/she is not your Husband/wife :).
Of course it will take some time give it let it heal , feel that strong emotion which we seldom experience, for such emotions are sometimes so rich that it can give a new turn to the civilization. We have witnessed many in our history ... And remember if you can grow with it.It’ll be beginning of a new life for you.
BEING SINGLE IS A BLESSING THAT WE ONLY CHERISH WHEN WE ARE NOT !!!!
One heart break can give you a closer look of reality;
One heart break can give you a real sense of maturity.
One heart break can teach you life is not always a bed of roses;
One heart break sometimes is must to learn humility.
One heart break can teach you when to 'let it go' & 'let it be';
One heart break can teach you the difference between knowledge and wisdom.
Guess thats why Paulo Coelho once said ' The one who've never experienced a heart break has never lived ' (Source Paulo Coehlo facebook status update on one fine sunny day)
For any personal feedback please mail on angshock@gmail.com
I Would love to know what you guys feel !
